Month: September 2005

‘Presidential Speechalist’

When comedy is funny…it’s…

Hold it.

Hold it.

Keep holding it.

OK, now.

Funny.

And this is (brutally) funny.
(Come on, admit it.)

The Associated Press takes an unimportant, insignificant, weekend political poll, dresses it up as hard hitting news, and turns it into a raving leftist editorial talking point laden anti-conservative propaganda sheet that becomes the envy of every PR lackey at MoveOn.org.

AP political writer Ron Fournier must have been watching the ABC News report that aired immediately after President Bush gave a nationally televised address last week on his plan for hurricane Katrina restoration. In the report, ABC’s Dean Reynolds interviewed hurricane evacuees outside the Astrodome in Houston and asked questions that were clearly designed to elicit negative responses harmful to the president. Much to the surprise of Mr. Reynolds and his colleagues at ABC, none of the evacuees said anything bad about Bush. In fact, 100% of the responses shifted blame for the poor relief response effort toward local Louisiana government officials.

Fournier begins his ‘news’ report on the recent poll this way:

Hurricane Katrina and the bungled government response have weakened President Bush, raising questions among Americans about his Iraq and flood-recovery plans and spreading fears among fellow Republicans about next year’s elections.

Wow! One would think that extraordinary research and scientific analysis must have gone into this ‘mother-of-all-polls’ to reflect the questions and fears residing deep within the heart of America. Unfortunately, we’ll never know how accurate the data is. For one thing, the poll was taken over the three days following the address by Bush. That would have been Friday, Saturday and Sunday. Weekend polls are less accurate than weekday polls. The other reason one might be misled by the accuracy of this poll is because the data is completely eclipsed by the editorial bias of the AP and Ron Fournier.

Here are some examples:

An AP-Ipsos poll says nearly six in 10 people disapprove of Bush’s job performance, unchanged from the record-low rating he had before last week’s televised address from the heart of New Orleans.

That underscores why GOP leaders fear Bush could be a drag on GOP candidates in 2006.

Oh really? Which GOP leaders would Mr. Fournier be talking about? We don’t know because he doesn’t provide a quote or a name of anyone who could be considered a GOP leader.

He goes on:

Given a choice in the survey, 42 percent favored cutting spending on Iraq to pay for relief efforts on the Gulf Coast, and 29 percent wanted to delay or cancel Republican tax cuts. That’s a whopping 71 percent backing options that Bush doesn’t even have on the table.

Now that’s some creative math. Fournier adds the answers to two completely different questions to come up with a high negative percentage against Bush. And Ron didn’t even have to use his Texas Instruments Scientific Calculator to come up with that result. Brilliant!

A variety of polls suggest voters expected the president to act more quickly in the aftermath of Katrina. He’s no longer considered a strong, decisive leader by many voters, a reversal from the 2004 presidential campaign when the wartime incumbent successfully cast himself in those terms.

“This is the most important intersection of his presidency,” said former House Speaker Newt Gingrich, a Republican.

Now the AP goes from quoting its own poll to analyzing a variety of polls (which ones?) to justify a ‘feeling’ that Bush is no longer a strong, decisive leader. Furthermore, Fournier labels Bush a fraud who masqueraded as a leader among men throughout the 2004 presidential campaign.

And then we have the quote from Newt, appearing magically without regard for any contextualization. We don’t even know when Newt said this. Bravo Ron – that’s some kinda reporting!

With nearly all Democrats and two-thirds of independents soured on his presidency, Bush needs to keep Republican voters happy to avoid a collapse of his ratings. More than eight in 10 Republicans back Bush, but GOP strategists worry about a decline in enthusiasm as the next year’s midterm elections draw near.

Fournier reports feelings as facts and attempts to convince us that although 8 in 10 Republicans back Bush, unnamed GOP insiders fear that a majority of these supporters will flip sides, that they’ll become supporters of Democrats and vote accordingly. Talk about reaching! 

For the first time, senior Republican consultants and lawmakers are warning the White House that Bush’s base is perilously close to deserting him. The poll underscores their concerns: By an 8-point margin, voters are more likely to call themselves Democrats than Republicans; there was no gap in self-identification a year ago.

Perilously close to deserting Bush. Didn’t we just read that 8 in 10 Republicans support the president? Oh, and about that 8–point margin identifying voters as Democrats rather than Republicans – how easy it is for Ron to report this ‘fact’ when he leaves out the leading question or questions that elicited the respondents answer.

Though the president has not specified how he would pay for Gulf Coast recovery projects estimated at $200 billion and more, the public has little interest in two options put forward by the White House: cutting other government spending and adding to the $333 billion deficit.

Just 11 percent of respondents favored reductions to other domestic programs like education, welfare, transportation and health care. A slightly higher number, 14 percent, said they favored adding to government debt and gradually paying it back.

Fournier concludes with a small ounce of reality (Democrats struggling to find a unified voice), but then doubles back to give a shout out to his homies.

Bush’s best hope may be that Democrats miscalculate as they struggle to find a unified voice post-Katrina.

Sen. John Kerry, D-Mass., gave a blistering critique of the president on Monday.

Another presidential prospect, Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton, D-N.Y., has called for an independent commission to investigate the government’s initial response.

Her husband, former President Clinton, dropped any veneer of impartiality Monday, criticizing the Bush administration while still helping the president and his father raise money for Katrina’s victims.

And there you have it. Another example of accurate truth filled unbiased non-partisan news reporting from the ‘professionals’ at the AP. One can only imagine the amazing examples of MSM journalistic dexterity that await us when an actual political campaign is underway.

I get all tingly just thinking about it.

Welcome to New York Cindy.

Anti-war activist Cindy Sheehan said Tuesday she was hurt slightly in a scuffle that erupted when police broke up a rally as she was at the microphone.

An organizer was arrested and charged with using a loudspeaker without a permit.

“I was speaking and someone grabbed my backpack and pulled me back pretty roughly,” Sheehan said, describing the scene at Manhattan’s Union Square on Monday. “I was shoved around.”

Sheehan, the grieving mother whose vigil near President Bush’s Texas ranch sparked anti-war protests around the country, said wasn’t roughed up by police, but was jostled when officers broke up the rally and arrested organizer Paul Zulkowitz.

“I think their use of force was pretty excessive for someone that didn’t have a permit,” Sheehan said.

So now what? Cindy is going to add police brutality to her long list of issues to protest against? She’s become a cartoon character.

Congratulations Cindy – with any luck you’ll be parodied on Saturday Night Live this weekend.

Howard Kurtz examines the implications of adding the cost of Katrina restoration to an already overblown budget, a topic I wrote about last week. It’s worth a read. In addition to giving his opinion of what happened, what’s happening, and what will happen, he quotes and links bloggers and members of the MSM.

CNN: Hurricane Rita is expected to reach category 4 in the Gulf of Mexico by 2 p.m. ET Wednesday, forecasters say.

Previously: Not Taking Any Chances

If you’ve jumped around the blogosphere much today, you might have noticed that a few folks are celebrating ‘Talk Like a Pirate Day’. I myself have never heard of this, until now.

Here’s the folklore.

I found someone who celebrates ‘Talk Like a Pirate Day’ more often – a real life Prophesying Pirate!

OAK RIDGE, Tenn. — Sam Brobst took a “Learning Your Spiritual Gift” course at Full Life Center, a charismatic church, and felt the Lord leading him to prophesy during meetings. But when Brobst opened his mouth the first time, he and others were surprised by what came out: pirate speak.

“We were in the middle of worship, when this voice rings out, ‘Yar! Hear the word of the Lord — the Lord of the mighty seas!'” says one witness. “It was straight out of a Disneyland ride.”

Brobst says he can’t help it: when the Spirit moves upon him, he clamps one eye shut and his voice becomes gravelly and menacing. On a recent Sunday, he prophesied, “Avast ye, mateys! Hear the word from our Cap’n: No fear have ye of storms and scallywags, says ye? Argh! But I be seein’ your true hearts. For I see below quarterdecks, says I. Ye be tremblin’ in the face of scurvy dogs. But pay them no heed. For I be preparin’ to pour down plenty o’ booty upon ye. So be of cheer, me hearties! Ye be loved of the Cap’n.”

The people of the church by now are accustomed to it, though first-time visitors often giggle.

“It doesn’t even sound like pirate to me anymore,” says one regular attendee. “My mind translates it.” 

Others say it’s preferable to past prophetic styles they have witnessed. 

“One woman would wail her prophecies,” says longtime member Darlene Bright.

“Another man would thunder in a deep voice like he was trying to impress us. All in all, I prefer pirate.”

Aye, them be truthful words ye speak!

New Orleans Mayor Ray Nagin has suspended the return of evacuees to the city, citing the threat from strengthening Tropical Storm Rita.

Under pressure from President Bush and other top federal officials, the mayor Monday suspended the reopening of large portions of the city over the next few days because of the threat of a new round of flooding from a tropical storm.

“I am concerned about this hurricane getting in the gulf. … If we are off, I’d rather err on the side of conservatism to make sure we have everyone out,” Mayor Ray Nagin said.

The announcement came after repeated warnings from top federal officials — and the president himself — that the city was unsafe.

The mayor said his original plan was never intended to put people at risk.

“Now we have conditions that have changed. We have another hurricane that is approaching us,” he said. He warned that the city’s pumping system was not running at full capacity and that its levee system is still in a “very weak position.”

Whether it’s pressure from Bush or another hurricane threat, it is too soon to let tens of thousands of people back in this city when conditions remain as fragile as they are.

Nagin is doing the right thing.

Previously: Nagin has “Larry Vaughn” Syndrome

Others: WaPo |

Tipped by a friend who found this over at Marginal Revolution – When it comes to looking after their elderly population, Danish nursing homes have concluded that weekly BINGO games, shuffleboard, and sponge baths just don’t cut it anymore.

Caregivers in Copenhagen have found that pornography and prostitutes have a greater calming effect on their elderly patients than traditional medical treatment such as drug therapy.

Staff at the Thorupgaarden nursing home in the Danish capital have been broadcasting pornography on the building’s internal videochannel every Saturday night for several years. And if videos and dirty magazines don’t relieve the tension, residents can ask the staff to order a prostitute for them.

The caregivers have told Danish media that pornography is healthier, cheaper and easier to use than medicine, Lars Elmsted Petersen, a spokesman for the Danish seniors’ lobby group Aeldresagen, said.

Earlier this year, the Danish government released a report stating that sexuality is an integral part of life for the elderly and the disabled. It recommended that caregivers help elderly residents satisfy their sexual needs.

I’ve got a multitude of crass comments running through my head, but I…can’t…do it.

Must. Resist. Urge.

Or has Hillary barked out an order for him to fulfill because she can’t get her message out?

It’s hard to know why Bill Clinton suddenly appeared on a Sunday news program to deliver a sharply partisan lashing of George W. Bush and his administration. I don’t think it was caused by low blood sugar.

Bill’s verbal fire was more likely started by two possible ignitors. He is either suffering from a certain lack of media (‘world’) attention, or Hillary is getting nervous about her recent rejection by Democratic colleagues. She’s been known to do this before, and after all, Bill had his moment – it’s now time for Hillary’s closeup. In many ways, she needs the same kind of attention Bill requires, but I’ll tackle that subject another time (I’m not ready or motivated to write the ‘Hillary is a power hungry system manipulator’ meme at this moment).

Whenever former president Bill Clinton perceives that he isn’t being paid attention to, or given the credit he believes he deserves, or is the center of the universe, he acts out. We’ve seen this time and time again. He’ll make an appearance on a late night television program, like David Letterman, to project his ‘cool-ness’ factor. He’ll attend and speak at a policywonk conference somewhere and just ‘accidently’ walk over to the cameras to make a simple comment about anything asked by a reporter. He’ll seek out front page news by doing an interview with a well known newspaper reporter. Or, as he did yesterday, he’ll ask himself onto a TV show like ABC’s ‘This Week’ so he can deliver a multifaceted rant on a variety of hot button topics.

Whatever the reason, he has an insatiable hunger to be recognized, heard from, quoted, seen, and worshipped by the human race. If that’s not happening in some way, he’ll make it happen. And he doesn’t need to expend a lot of energy either. He knows better than anyone that the media will stop in their tracks to create news for him.

That’s what yesterday was all about. And like all the times before, it worked. Bill Clinton is a top story today. His face is being flashed across TV screens today, and his words are being reprinted in newspapers throughout the world. The monster has been fed.

Like the heroin addict with no cost access to pure china white, Bill will bask in the warmth of the media glory he’s created for himself, until the lights dim. Then he’ll do it again, and again, and again.

Others: PoliPundit |  Blogs for Bush | The Moderate Voice | Riehl World View | Bill Clinton is Shameless, The Series |

You can’t help but think that New Orleans Mayor Ray Nagin is a little anxious to ring the cash registers of his city. It seems unfathomable that a couple of weeks after he himself predicted tens of thousands of dead and buildings submerged under water for months, Nagin would be pushing for a return of residents to the evacuated city. Talk about dangling a big carrot in front of their noses. The Big Easy isn’t quite so easy yet. Danger continues to exist.

It seems as though Ray Nagin is stricken with a malady I like to call “Larry Vaughn” syndrome.

Remember the movie Jaws? Larry Vaughn was the major of Amity, the small island community plagued by a big ol’ mutha of a shark. In the movie Mayor Vaughn knew danger existed. He knew if he let people back on the beaches to swim there would be a pretty good chance that they’d be bitten by that shark. But in the end, that didn’t matter. What did matter was opening Amity for business. Tourist dollars. Money. All he had to do was be sure the crowds showed up. Then, the business people would be happy. After all, “Amity means Friendship”.

Does Ray Nagin have a little Larry Vaughn in him? Is he putting the interests of overly excited French Quarter businesses ahead of the safety of visiting tourists and residents who live in New Orleans?

If Nagin is Vaughn, Coast Guard Vice Adm. Thad Allen is Police Chief Martin Brody.

A weakened levee system and a lack of drinkable tap water will make it “extremely problematic” to follow the New Orleans mayor’s timeline for allowing residents to return to the evacuated city, the head of the federal disaster relief effort said Saturday.

Vice Adm. Thad Allen said federal officials have worked with Mayor Ray Nagin and support his vision for repopulating the city, but he called Nagin’s idea to return up to 180,000 people to New Orleans in the next week both “extremely ambitious” and “extremely problematic.”

Allen called on the mayor to be “mindful of the risks” and said he would inform Nagin of his concerns at a meeting set for Monday.

According to the U.S. Army Corps of Engineers, the newly patched levees, in their current state, would probably not protect the city from the storm surge of a category 3 hurricane. And as we already know, hurricane season isn’t over yet. Danger still exists.

The shark is still in the water.

Keep your head Ray. Listen to Thad. Wait.

In the end, Amity’s beaches closed and remained that way until the risk was eliminated. It’s a good example and a lesson Nagin should pay heed to. Don’t try to be the hero for a few businesses who happen to have a dry floor, plumbing that works, and a couple of kegs of beer on ice. The short term economic gain isn’t worth the potential hazards that still exist.

Others: New Orleans Mayor Defends Return Plan | Business Owners Trickle Back In | Bush Questions Reopening of New Orleans |

UPDATE: Nagin suspends the return of evacuees