Day: September 19, 2005

If you’ve jumped around the blogosphere much today, you might have noticed that a few folks are celebrating ‘Talk Like a Pirate Day’. I myself have never heard of this, until now.

Here’s the folklore.

I found someone who celebrates ‘Talk Like a Pirate Day’ more often – a real life Prophesying Pirate!

OAK RIDGE, Tenn. — Sam Brobst took a “Learning Your Spiritual Gift” course at Full Life Center, a charismatic church, and felt the Lord leading him to prophesy during meetings. But when Brobst opened his mouth the first time, he and others were surprised by what came out: pirate speak.

“We were in the middle of worship, when this voice rings out, ‘Yar! Hear the word of the Lord — the Lord of the mighty seas!'” says one witness. “It was straight out of a Disneyland ride.”

Brobst says he can’t help it: when the Spirit moves upon him, he clamps one eye shut and his voice becomes gravelly and menacing. On a recent Sunday, he prophesied, “Avast ye, mateys! Hear the word from our Cap’n: No fear have ye of storms and scallywags, says ye? Argh! But I be seein’ your true hearts. For I see below quarterdecks, says I. Ye be tremblin’ in the face of scurvy dogs. But pay them no heed. For I be preparin’ to pour down plenty o’ booty upon ye. So be of cheer, me hearties! Ye be loved of the Cap’n.”

The people of the church by now are accustomed to it, though first-time visitors often giggle.

“It doesn’t even sound like pirate to me anymore,” says one regular attendee. “My mind translates it.” 

Others say it’s preferable to past prophetic styles they have witnessed. 

“One woman would wail her prophecies,” says longtime member Darlene Bright.

“Another man would thunder in a deep voice like he was trying to impress us. All in all, I prefer pirate.”

Aye, them be truthful words ye speak!

New Orleans Mayor Ray Nagin has suspended the return of evacuees to the city, citing the threat from strengthening Tropical Storm Rita.

Under pressure from President Bush and other top federal officials, the mayor Monday suspended the reopening of large portions of the city over the next few days because of the threat of a new round of flooding from a tropical storm.

“I am concerned about this hurricane getting in the gulf. … If we are off, I’d rather err on the side of conservatism to make sure we have everyone out,” Mayor Ray Nagin said.

The announcement came after repeated warnings from top federal officials — and the president himself — that the city was unsafe.

The mayor said his original plan was never intended to put people at risk.

“Now we have conditions that have changed. We have another hurricane that is approaching us,” he said. He warned that the city’s pumping system was not running at full capacity and that its levee system is still in a “very weak position.”

Whether it’s pressure from Bush or another hurricane threat, it is too soon to let tens of thousands of people back in this city when conditions remain as fragile as they are.

Nagin is doing the right thing.

Previously: Nagin has “Larry Vaughn” Syndrome

Others: WaPo |

Tipped by a friend who found this over at Marginal Revolution – When it comes to looking after their elderly population, Danish nursing homes have concluded that weekly BINGO games, shuffleboard, and sponge baths just don’t cut it anymore.

Caregivers in Copenhagen have found that pornography and prostitutes have a greater calming effect on their elderly patients than traditional medical treatment such as drug therapy.

Staff at the Thorupgaarden nursing home in the Danish capital have been broadcasting pornography on the building’s internal videochannel every Saturday night for several years. And if videos and dirty magazines don’t relieve the tension, residents can ask the staff to order a prostitute for them.

The caregivers have told Danish media that pornography is healthier, cheaper and easier to use than medicine, Lars Elmsted Petersen, a spokesman for the Danish seniors’ lobby group Aeldresagen, said.

Earlier this year, the Danish government released a report stating that sexuality is an integral part of life for the elderly and the disabled. It recommended that caregivers help elderly residents satisfy their sexual needs.

I’ve got a multitude of crass comments running through my head, but I…can’t…do it.

Must. Resist. Urge.

Or has Hillary barked out an order for him to fulfill because she can’t get her message out?

It’s hard to know why Bill Clinton suddenly appeared on a Sunday news program to deliver a sharply partisan lashing of George W. Bush and his administration. I don’t think it was caused by low blood sugar.

Bill’s verbal fire was more likely started by two possible ignitors. He is either suffering from a certain lack of media (‘world’) attention, or Hillary is getting nervous about her recent rejection by Democratic colleagues. She’s been known to do this before, and after all, Bill had his moment – it’s now time for Hillary’s closeup. In many ways, she needs the same kind of attention Bill requires, but I’ll tackle that subject another time (I’m not ready or motivated to write the ‘Hillary is a power hungry system manipulator’ meme at this moment).

Whenever former president Bill Clinton perceives that he isn’t being paid attention to, or given the credit he believes he deserves, or is the center of the universe, he acts out. We’ve seen this time and time again. He’ll make an appearance on a late night television program, like David Letterman, to project his ‘cool-ness’ factor. He’ll attend and speak at a policywonk conference somewhere and just ‘accidently’ walk over to the cameras to make a simple comment about anything asked by a reporter. He’ll seek out front page news by doing an interview with a well known newspaper reporter. Or, as he did yesterday, he’ll ask himself onto a TV show like ABC’s ‘This Week’ so he can deliver a multifaceted rant on a variety of hot button topics.

Whatever the reason, he has an insatiable hunger to be recognized, heard from, quoted, seen, and worshipped by the human race. If that’s not happening in some way, he’ll make it happen. And he doesn’t need to expend a lot of energy either. He knows better than anyone that the media will stop in their tracks to create news for him.

That’s what yesterday was all about. And like all the times before, it worked. Bill Clinton is a top story today. His face is being flashed across TV screens today, and his words are being reprinted in newspapers throughout the world. The monster has been fed.

Like the heroin addict with no cost access to pure china white, Bill will bask in the warmth of the media glory he’s created for himself, until the lights dim. Then he’ll do it again, and again, and again.

Others: PoliPundit |  Blogs for Bush | The Moderate Voice | Riehl World View | Bill Clinton is Shameless, The Series |