Month: April 2005

The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn’t.

In honor of the NBA Playoffs starting this weekend, Jesus playing hoops. Only $24.95.

Get it? Squeeze, as in Teresa Heinz and Ketchup. No, I didn’t make up that headline. The folks at the Pittsburgh Tribune-Review did. [One side note – I know that some have commented on her dropping ‘Kerry’ from her name – what’s up with that?]

Tare-ayyy-saaahhh believes that the Catholic Church, and even the new Pope are to blame for John Kerry’s 2004 presidential election loss. She adds this excuse to the long list of other reasons why John was unfairly thrown under the bus by the electorate. She’s a complete wacko.

Eric Heyl comments.

Yep, I see it. I had one of those ‘inner ear boils’ myself once, but mine didn’t have big black hairs growing out of the center like yours.

Via The Plain Dealer:

Ohio Republican Sen. George Voinovich says he is surprised by the fuss he stirred with his unexpected announcement Tuesday that he wasn’t prepared to vote to confirm John Bolton as ambassador to the United Nations.

“I feel real good,” he said Thursday. “My conscience told me this is what I think I should do.”

Voinovich said he changed his mind for various reasons, including “hearing some things that bothered me” at the committee meeting. He cited complaints about Bolton’s interpersonal relationships that made him question whether Bolton treats people “with dignity and respect.”

The Senator didn’t attend the first three committee meetings (where the allegations against Bolton were debunked). No matter. It’s clear that a few helpful Democrats ‘filled him in’.

Voinovich said he also was disturbed by the outrage on the faces of Democrats on the panel who complained that they weren’t being given a chance to examine allegations about Bolton.

“This was very serious business,” said Voinovich. “These are guys who have been on this committee for a long time.”

Intimidated by the “outrage on the faces of Democrats”; That’s called ‘lacking a spine’, Senator.

Voinovich said he feared that failing to give Democrats a chance to explore their concerns could undermine “a sense of decency” that often has prevailed on the foreign relations panel and “do real damage to the possibility of having a bipartisan foreign policy.”

He felt that Bolton and the Bush administration would be better off if questions about the nomination were resolved by the committee.

The alternative, he said, was a “free-for-all” on the Senate floor.

And? Debate is what the Senate is all about. Warm up the C-SPAN cameras and bring in the announcer – “Let’s Get Ready To Rumble!” 

Voinovich, who has periodically infuriated conservatives by straying from the party line, declined to say whether he is being pressured by the White House to support Bolton. And he laughed off a question about whether GOP colleagues are upset with him.

“My colleagues know I’m the same old George,” he said.

No George, I think your colleagues are finding out who you really are.

Voinovich wanted his 15 minutes in the spotlight, his name in the papers and his mug on TV. He got all of that. Now, he’s surprised at the reaction? Gimme a break. Your episode is about to be cancelled sir.

Voinovich now joins club ‘gutless’ alongside Chuck Hagel and Lincoln Chafee.

Via TVNewser:

Tony Snow is returning full-time to host The Tony Snow Show beginning Monday, April 25, 2005, Fox News announced today. Snow took a brief hiatus for cancer treatments. “I’m feeling great — I mean REALLY great — so great that I’m ready to go back on the air full-time, Snow says…

He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up.

Hey everybody, it’s Earth Day!! HAPPY EARTH DAY!!! The best thing about holidays is that the kids enjoy them so much. Take this 14 year-old interviewed in Tucson about what his teachers have shared about this joyous celebration:

Aquiles Alvarez, 14, said he worries that people aren’t taking their commitment to the Earth seriously enough. “If people drive a car, it causes pollution. If they use chemicals to clean their houses, they’re causing pollution. If they use a lawn mower or a gas-powered weed eater to clean their yard, they’re causing pollution.”

And how about this sixth grader’s Earth Day arts & crafts project:

“I think maybe we should stop polluting our water and maybe we should stop wasting water,” concluded Ricky Chavez, a sixth-grader at DeGrazia Elementary School who won a first-place prize among middle schoolers for his science project on groundwater contamination. Chavez and his best friend, Travis Windle, poured blue-tinted water and cooking oil into milk jugs filled with sand or gravel to see what would trickle through into the “groundwater.” His project showed 10 times more contamination in the gravel mixture than in the sandy mixture, but he wouldn’t have been willing to drink the end result of either of them.

Evidently, schools are now teaching the two ‘R’s and the two ‘A’s:ReadingwRitingArithmeticActivismWhatever happened to wax paper over leaves and rubbing them with crayons or ‘Give a Hoot, Don’t Pollute’? Who are these teachers? No wonder our kids are committing suicide. Can our kids go one day in the public school system without feeling guilty for living in a wealthy nation or having opposable thumbs? Evidently, unlike Administrative Professionals Day next Wednesday (we could keep calling it Secretaries Day, but we changed the name instead of giving them a raise), you can’t just buy the Earth flowers and take her out to Chili’s for lunch and expect her to forget about all the terrible things you’ve done. C’mon, the Earth being a supposed living breathing entity surely knows we all have our stapler throwing moments now and again.No, Earth Day is not a celebration. The first event was observed by twenty million Americans in 1970, most of them students. The event, spearheaded by Wisconsin Senator Gaylord Nelson and Harvard University student Denis (rhymes with Dennis) Hayes, involved teach-ins, inspired by the ones used during the Vietnam War, addressing decades of environmental pollution.I suppose we won’t have a Solar System Day until someone thinks we’re destroying it.In essence, isn’t that what we have these ‘Days’ for anyway? To try and get out of the doghouse with our secretaries, sweethearts, mothers, fathers, deities, et al and make ourselves feel better about being the bastards we are?I would normally observe Earth Day, but I’m too spent from Tax Day earlier this month. I sent a nice note but I don’t think it helped. I think they were expecting a check.

An innocent water stain on a cement wall underneath a typical freeway…yet people are bringing their sick and dying loved ones down to touch it in hopes that they’ll be ‘healed’.

So many are searching for something, someone…anything which will give them meaning in their life. They want it so bad that they’ll resort to worshipping a cracked concrete slab marked with salt water.

Via Fox: 16 Breast-Feed in Protest at Public Meeting

A city commission candidate was criticized for breast-feeding her daughter during a public meeting, so 16 other mothers turned up and nursed their children at another gathering as a show of support.

Reportedly there were too many willing protesters and not enough kids to go around, so a few volunteers were found down the street at Billy Joe Bob Jr.’s Burger, Buns and Brew, where happy hour was well underway.