Country Music Television has a job posting up on its website. They’re offering $100,000 to just the right person. What’s the position? Vice President of the CMT Dukes of Hazzard Institute. Now you’re asking yourself…just what would a VP of the CMT DHI do all day long? Here’s a sampling…

• Watch The Dukes of Hazzard every weeknight on CMT;
• Know the words to The Dukes of Hazzard theme song, “Good Ol’ Boys,” written and performed on the series by the legendary Waylon Jennings;
• Serve as media expert on The Dukes of Hazzard for the CMT Dukes of Hazzard Institute: must be available for TV, radio and newspaper interviews to share passion for The Dukes of Hazzard on CMT;
• Write the CMT Dukes of Hazzard Institute online blog for cmt.com;
• Be passionate about The Dukes of Hazzard on CMT;
• Make appearances at special events such as Dukesfest 2005 in Bristol, Tenn., (June 4-5, 2005).

The application includes an opportunity to submit essay answers to the following questions:

• If you Bo, Luke and Daisy took off in The General Lee, what would happen next?
• If Waylon Jennings wrote your theme song, what would be the title and chorus?
• Which character on The Dukes of Hazzard do you most identify with and why?

For the record, I’ve never watched one full episode of the Dukes of Hazzard. In fact, my eyes have only seen one thing on that show…that confederate flag car. Every time I would scan TV channels, I’d skip past the USA channel or some other bojax cable television network and catch about 2 seconds of that racist car speeding through a muddy cow pasture or something. That’s what I know about the Dukes of Hazzard. But for $100,000 bucks, I’d be the fricken AUTHORITY on the Dukes of Hazzard. KING DUKE, that’d be me. I’d go out dressed like them, I’d scream “yahoo” like ’em (or whatever it is they scream), I’d drive that bigot car through muddy cow pastures just like ’em, and I’d talk like ’em.

In fact, I’m applying right now, on the spot. The job application is printing as I type. I AM A DUKE. I AM A DUKE. I AM A DUKE!

Whoa…

What the…

Wait a minute…

What a stupid idea that is. Who in the world would watch the Dukes of Hazzard EVERY WEEK NIGHT for a year? After the first couple of weeks I’d be pointing a gun to my head. Can you imagine how exciting those blog posts would be?

Blog entry #235 – Dukes of Hazzard, episode #110 – Wednesday night.

Uh, yeah well, uhmmm. They got in that fricken car again tonight. And, that little guy…you know, the guy in the white clothes with the hat. Boss Pig, or uh…Biss Pog. Well, you know who I’m talking about. Yeah, well, he was mad about something, and those Duke guys, they were running away from him or something, and then there was this hot babe and she jumped in the back seat of that fricken car and they were speeding around. Then in the end, that Bass Peg guy was still angry and the Dukes were all smiling and laughing and stuff, standing in front of that fricken car.

More tomorrow night.

Good Lord. I’d rather blog “Knott’s Landing”, or “Get Christie Love” or some show like that.

(h/t Belief Seeking Understanding)

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