“I took a poo in the woods hunched over like an animal.
It was awesome.”

This little (ahem) nugget of wisdom appears in a story about celebrities who praise the developing world’s primitive lifestyles as earth-friendly — despite the poor nations’ high infant mortality rates and short life expectancies.

Actress Drew Barrymore, who reportedly earns $15 million a film, told MTV viewers in one episode that after spending time in a primitive, electricity-free Chilean village, “I aspire to be like them more.”

Barrymore, apparently enthralled by the lack of a modern sanitary facilities, gleefully bragged, “I took a poo in the woods hunched over like an animal. It was awesome.”

And her buddy Cameron Diaz wasn’t far (uh) behind.

The 32-year-old Diaz, who earns a reported $20-million a movie, boasted that the cow-dung slathered walls of a Nepalese village hut were “beautiful” and “inspiring,” and she called the primitive practice of “pounding mud” with sticks to construct a building foundation “the coolest thing.”

Blood pressure…rising…must control…fist of death!

The first four episodes of the MTV series made scant mention of the difficult economic and social conditions of the countries visited. Bhutan, a country that received particular praise from Diaz for its environmental policies, has one of the highest infant mortality rates (103 infant deaths per 1,000 live births) and lowest life expectancies (54 years) in the world.

By comparison, the United States, which Diaz described as having too much “convenience,” has an infant mortality rate of only 6.6 per 1000 and an average life expectancy of more than 77 years.

And then, finally, a voice of reason…

A critic of the environmental movement condemned the new MTV series.

“There’s something perverse and immoral when multi-millionaire Hollywood celebrities head off on junkets in the jungle – and then preach to us lesser mortals about the joys of the simple life, and how we should protect the Earth, conserve energy, prevent global warming, and help the poorest people on our planet continue ‘enjoying’ their poverty, malnutrition and premature death,” Paul Dreissen, author of Eco-Imperialism: Green Power, Black Death told Cybercast News Service.

“Life in these developing countries is still nasty, brutish and short. And that there is a reason our parents and grandparents worked so hard to create modern homes and hospitals and technologies, so they could leave behind the unsafe water, dung fires, pollution, rotted teeth, infant mortality and life expectancies half or ours,” said Driessen.

“This entire MTV series totally glosses over the hardships and premature death that is right before their eyes. Even mentioning these facts would obviously get in the way of their ideological message, and their determination to turn [MTV viewers] into little ventriloquist’s dummies for the sustainable development movement,” Driessen explained.

And back to Drew for a final word…

After her visit to Chile, Barrymore expressed guilt about not always adhering to earth-friendly practices.

“Like I leave the light on all the time in my house because I want to feel safe. I am so spoiled, I am — I am going to start conserving,” Barrymore insisted.

“It is just overwhelming how important it is to like, love our planet all the time and not take advantage of it,” Barrymore concluded.

Like, gag me with a spoon.

(This apparently shows my age, due to the fact that I’m sure ‘kids’ don’t say the spoon phrase anymore, but it was all I could come up with, and frankly, I don’t think I need to say anything else on this anyway. It’s all crap.)

See also, “Moby Quote of the Day”