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Obama summons 2008 voters

You remember the big block of voters who came out of nowhere in 2008 to vote for The One, don’t you? Yeah, those brainless, out of touch with reality, touchy-feely sheep who were hypnotized by the second coming of the pseudo messiah. Those voters.

Well, Obama understands that 2010 will be a blow out for the Dems if he doesn’t "reconnect" with "his" base. So he pulled out the teleprompter, set up his YouTube camera, and went to work.

Gaze into my eyes…

The question is, will it work this time around? Everyone knows voter turn out for congressional elections is notoriously lackluster. The only way Obama can effectively rally the lemmings is if he manipulates a willing media into putting him on TV (in a positive light) nightly from say, late September until the vote in November. Unfortunately for Barry, this time around the media might have to go to Defcon 5 to filter out the discontent of real voters who are intelligent enough to realize what kind of train wreck the Obama presidency has been to date. ABC-CBS-NBC-CNN-MSNBC-PBS will have to manufacture some interesting camera angles to blunt out the thousands of people holding signs like this one.

You Can't Fix Stupid.png

Stephen Hawking: Genius?

I’m trying to remember why everyone thinks this guy is so darn smart.

Aliens almost certainly exist but humans should avoid making contact, Professor Stephen Hawking has warned.

In a series for the Discovery Channel the renowned astrophysicist said it was "perfectly rational" to assume intelligent life exists elsewhere.

But he warned that aliens might simply raid Earth for resources, then move on.

"If aliens visit us, the outcome would be much as when Columbus landed in America, which didn’t turn out well for the Native Americans," he said.

Prof Hawking thinks that, rather than actively trying to communicate with extra-terrestrials, humans should do everything possible to avoid contact.

He explained: "We only have to look at ourselves to see how intelligent life might develop into something we wouldn’t want to meet."

You know, he might be right. Trying to contact aliens might be dangerous. I mean, look what it did for this guy…

dreyfus-without-the-mashed-potatoes

And this guy too! Oooh…scary.

ET

Kim Jong Il: Please pay attention to me

Like clockwork, the North Korean regime sends out another “invade us and we’ll nuke you” threat. Same ol’ song and dance.

North Korea on Saturday warned it was prepared to use nuclear weapons if it was invaded by the US and South Korea. The official Korean Central News Agency (KCNA) carried the remarks by the North’s Joint Chief, General Ri Yong-Ho, during a national meeting on the eve of the birthday of the communist country’s armed forces. ”The revolutionary armed forces of the DPRK (North Korea) are fully ready to frustrate any provocation of the aggressors at a single blow,” Ri said. ”They will mobilise all means including the nuclear deterrent.

Theory: Kim reads the internet. He watches a lot of campy Hollywood DVD movies too but that’s beside the point. If he thinks the homeland isn’t getting enough press, he sends out out one of these little nuke rants. Presto, instant newsmaker. Works like a charm. One of the Sunday shows will have it, and it’ll probably play during the press gaggle at the White House on Monday too.

Yawn.

Go back to your lives, citizens.