Year: 2005

Little to no blogging today. Got a full day of kids activities ahead. It’s possible that I’ll be doing a little car-blogging tomorrow…

Talk to you later.

Country Music Television has a job posting up on its website. They’re offering $100,000 to just the right person. What’s the position? Vice President of the CMT Dukes of Hazzard Institute. Now you’re asking yourself…just what would a VP of the CMT DHI do all day long? Here’s a sampling…

• Watch The Dukes of Hazzard every weeknight on CMT;
• Know the words to The Dukes of Hazzard theme song, “Good Ol’ Boys,” written and performed on the series by the legendary Waylon Jennings;
• Serve as media expert on The Dukes of Hazzard for the CMT Dukes of Hazzard Institute: must be available for TV, radio and newspaper interviews to share passion for The Dukes of Hazzard on CMT;
• Write the CMT Dukes of Hazzard Institute online blog for cmt.com;
• Be passionate about The Dukes of Hazzard on CMT;
• Make appearances at special events such as Dukesfest 2005 in Bristol, Tenn., (June 4-5, 2005).

The application includes an opportunity to submit essay answers to the following questions:

• If you Bo, Luke and Daisy took off in The General Lee, what would happen next?
• If Waylon Jennings wrote your theme song, what would be the title and chorus?
• Which character on The Dukes of Hazzard do you most identify with and why?

For the record, I’ve never watched one full episode of the Dukes of Hazzard. In fact, my eyes have only seen one thing on that show…that confederate flag car. Every time I would scan TV channels, I’d skip past the USA channel or some other bojax cable television network and catch about 2 seconds of that racist car speeding through a muddy cow pasture or something. That’s what I know about the Dukes of Hazzard. But for $100,000 bucks, I’d be the fricken AUTHORITY on the Dukes of Hazzard. KING DUKE, that’d be me. I’d go out dressed like them, I’d scream “yahoo” like ’em (or whatever it is they scream), I’d drive that bigot car through muddy cow pastures just like ’em, and I’d talk like ’em.

In fact, I’m applying right now, on the spot. The job application is printing as I type. I AM A DUKE. I AM A DUKE. I AM A DUKE!

Whoa…

What the…

Wait a minute…

What a stupid idea that is. Who in the world would watch the Dukes of Hazzard EVERY WEEK NIGHT for a year? After the first couple of weeks I’d be pointing a gun to my head. Can you imagine how exciting those blog posts would be?

Blog entry #235 – Dukes of Hazzard, episode #110 – Wednesday night.

Uh, yeah well, uhmmm. They got in that fricken car again tonight. And, that little guy…you know, the guy in the white clothes with the hat. Boss Pig, or uh…Biss Pog. Well, you know who I’m talking about. Yeah, well, he was mad about something, and those Duke guys, they were running away from him or something, and then there was this hot babe and she jumped in the back seat of that fricken car and they were speeding around. Then in the end, that Bass Peg guy was still angry and the Dukes were all smiling and laughing and stuff, standing in front of that fricken car.

More tomorrow night.

Good Lord. I’d rather blog “Knott’s Landing”, or “Get Christie Love” or some show like that.

(h/t Belief Seeking Understanding)

MORE: Yikes

Luckily, this cell call was missed.

Wow…look at what a few months in prison will do for you.

In a move that has raised questions of professional integrity, Newsweek magazine has combined an image of Martha Stewart’s head and a model’s body on its latest cover, according to a report Thursday.

The New York Times says the Newsweek cover depicts what looks to be a real full-body photo of Stewart, albeit a few pounds lighter, parting a curtain. The text reads “Martha’s Last Laugh: After Prison She’s Thinner, Wealthier & Ready for Prime Time.”

According to the Times, Newsweek Assistant Managing Editor Lynne Staley said the photo was not meant to be deceptive but rather to illustrate what she might look like when she’s released from prison, which could come as early as Friday. Staley said a credit on the table of contents noted the image was a fake.

“If a reader thinks its a news photo, an actual photograph, as opposed to a piece of art, then you should never change the truth of the photo,” Castro told the Times.

Staley agreed and said the magazine should have been more careful, perhaps using an image that clearly couldn’t have been mistaken for a real picture.

“They fumbled, they blundered, but this is not like misrepresenting the news,” Castro told the paper. “They just did a dumb thing.”

Indeed.

UPDATE: Free at last! Free at last! Thank God Almighty, she’s Free at last!

MORE: Dan Gillmor calls her as he sees her.

Hee hee.

I have my doubts about this. Yes, it is a serious issue, but I think the alarm is sounding a bit louder than reality due to the nature of the debate. It’s a tactic pure and simple, and I think Commissioner Smith is playing it up – TO THE BLOGOSPHERE. He’d like nothing more than for bloggers to FREAK OUT over his little interview on CNet and create havoc. Then the FEC will be forced to bow to the pressure and continue the Internet exemption portion of the 2002 campaign finance law. He’s no doubt seen the effect (Rathergate), and I’m sure he’s counting on his words to light a fire under…well, you know what I mean.

Will bloggers take the bait and crank up the volume?

Yep.

And that’s a good thing.

UPDATE: In 1999, the Brennen Center published some background on Commissioner Smith. Here’s how they describe him:

Imagine the President nominating an Attorney General who believes that most of our criminal laws are “profoundly undemocratic” and unconstitutional. Or an SEC Commissioner who has publicly called for the repeal of all securities laws with the plea, “We should deregulate and just let it go.” Or a nominee for EPA Administrator who believes that the agency he aspires to head and “its various state counterparts” should be abolished. It would be unthinkable. In a society rooted in the rule of law, we would never tolerate the appointment of a law enforcement officer who has vocally and repeatedly denounced the very laws he would be called upon to enforce, much less one who has called for the repeal of those laws and the abolition of the agency he aspires to head.

Unthinkable. Yet, some Senators thought of it.

The Republican favorite to fill the current vacancy on the Federal Election Commission, according to The Washington Post, is Bradley A. Smith, a law professor at Capital University Law School, who has devoted his career to denouncing the FEC and the laws it is entrusted to enforce in precisely those strident terms.

Brad Smith believes that the entire body of the nation’s campaign finance law is fundamentally flawed and unworkable – indeed, unconstitutional. He has forcefully advocated complete deregulation of the system. And, if the James Watt of campaign finance had his way, the FEC, and its state counterparts, would go out of business.

So, if even 1% of the above is true about the Commissioner, his red alert today could be a bit top heavy in the drama department.

MORE: FEC Commissioner Bradley Smith appeared on the Cam Edwards show this afternoon to discuss the possibility of regulating political activity on the Internet. RedState has the first half of the transcript posted here. They’ve also added a new section to their site which focuses exclusively on the story.

Discover magazine’s online edition published an article this month about the collective power of sharing files over the web. It’s a little techy, but Steven Johnson covers all the bases.

I’m even mentioned (ok, one sentence, but I’ll take what I can get.)

Go read the whole thing. (h/t Omniverse)

Introducing, the FIRE BIBLE.

When was the last time your class saw how “HOT” God’s Word is? Open this authentic looking “bible” and begin to share the scripture for the day as real flames are seen coming from your “bible”. This full size book comes with a battery operated ignition system. All you supply are the batteries, lighter fluid and composure as your class gets excited. (special note: Fed-Ex shipping is available if you absolutely have to have the Fire Bible for this Sunday!) Only $44.95!

Yep, it’s a real product.

I have one question. Just how fast can the Department of Homeland Security add this to their “do not allow on an aircraft” list? I can see the directive right now – beware of all Bibles…or at least Bibles filled with lighter fluid.

The Carnival of the Vanities left PunditGuy town last week and is now at it’s 128th stop – Belief Seeking Understanding. Go roll around in the goodness of the blog link o’ rama.

The Howard Dean “Scream” Tour o’ Tolerance rolls on…

“We’re not going to concede the South,” the new chairman of the Democratic National Committee told an overflow crowd of more than 900 people in a dining room that was set up for 800 in the Clarion hotel near downtown Jackson.

“The South will rise again, and when it does, it will have a D after its name,” Dean said to applause from the diverse crowd of blacks and whites.

Cue the house to unroll the confederate flag background.

Dean said he’ll go to Tennessee soon.

Will he lunch with Algore? Not likely.

“The way we’re going to win elections in this country is not to become Republican lite. The way we’re going to win elections in this country is to stand up for what we believe in,” Dean said.

Win? No. Go down in flames like the fringe leftist minority that you are? Yes.

Speaking at the $75-a-plate Mississippi Democratic Party dinner, Dean criticized the national debt and said: “You cannot trust Republicans with your taxpayer dollars.”

Go on Howard. Make the pledge. Tell everyone that Democrats won’t increase taxes, they won’t add their personal pork to ANY new bill, and insist that each existing social program be scrutinized for waste.

He prayed for American troops, saying even those who had criticized the war in Iraq should support soldiers and their families.

Would someone explain to me how you support a soldier in Iraq but oppose and criticize the job they have? Really…I don’t get it.

He also said the Democratic Party should reach out to evangelical Christians and the party has room for people with divergent views on abortion.

Attention tempest, find your teapot.

“I want to reach out to people who are worried about values,” Dean said. “We are going to embrace pro-life Democrats because pro-life Democrats care about kids after they’re born, not just before they’re born.”

What’s that? Did Dean say something he didn’t intend to say? Are we to believe now that Democrats consider the mass of cells inside a pregnant mother a “kid”? Is a “kid” not a human being? It’s time to fish or cut bait Democrats. Stand by this statement from your Chairman or issue the appropriate press release correction. You can’t have it both ways.

I’m starting to get anxious for each new speech that Howard Dean gives. I can’t wait to “roll tape” on him when campaign 2008 kicks in. Grab your popcorn…