Day: November 3, 2005

Another one of those, “this can’t possibly be a real story” stories.

Man Sues After Using Glue-Covered Toilet

Home Depot was sued by a shopper who claims he got stuck to a restroom toilet seat because a prankster had smeared it with glue.

Bob Dougherty, 57, accused employees of ignoring his cries for help for about 15 minutes because they thought he was kidding.

“They left me there, going through all that stress,” Dougherty told The (Boulder) Daily Camera. “They just let me rot.”

The lawsuit, filed Friday, said Dougherty was recovering from heart bypass surgery and thought he was having a heart attack when he got stuck at the Louisville store on the day before Halloween 2003. A store employee who heard him calling for help informed the head clerk by radio, but the head clerk “believed it to be a hoax,” the lawsuit said.

And as if you didn’t need one more detail about this unfortunate moment in Bob’s life, the lawsuit said the toilet seat separated from his skin, leaving abrasions. Ouch.

When you think about it, the story has a happy ending. If Bob didn’t get separated from that seat, his office might have looked like this.

Headlines and Commentary for 11.03.05

BBC – Fresh violence hits Paris suburbs

Rioting youths opened fire on police and set dozens of vehicles ablaze in a seventh night of violence in Paris.

In escalating unrest, shots were fired at police and firefighters, while gangs besieged a police station, set fire to a car showroom and threw petrol bombs.

At least 15 people were arrested and nine injured across north-east Paris.

France’s government is facing mounting criticism of its handling of the riots, triggered by the deaths last week of two teenagers of African origin.

Paris is burning. If Chirac can’t take control of this situation in the next 24 hours, he can kiss his political career goodbye.

AP – Libby Pleads Not Guilty in CIA Leak Case

Vice President Dick Cheney’s former chief of staff pleaded not guilty Thursday in the CIA leak scandal, marking the start of what could be a long road to a trial in which Cheney and other top Bush administration officials could be summoned to testify.

I. Lewis “Scooter” Libby entered the plea in front of U.S. District Judge Reggie Walton, a former prosecutor who has spent two decades as a judge in the nation’s capital.

“With respect, your honor, I plead not guilty,” Libby told the judge.

Libby – the fall guy, the patsy. Every beltway controversy has to have one. This whole thing is about the Left trying to get rid of Karl Rove. Teflon Karl. What a waste of time, and money.

And speaking of the circus…

AP – Second Judge Out for DeLay Trial

Two days after Rep. Tom DeLay won a fight to get a new judge in his case, prosecutors Thursday succeeded in ousting the Republican responsible for selecting the new judge.

Administrative Judge B.B. Schraub withdrew after District Attorney Ronnie Earle filed a request to have him removed.

Schraub said he will ask the chief justice of the Texas Supreme Court — a Republican — to name a judge to preside over DeLay’s conspiracy and money laundering trial.

Like I said…what a waste of time, and money.

AP – South Carolina Prison Escapees Captured

Two violent felons who escaped from a maximum-security prison by hiding on a trash truck were captured early Thursday afternoon, a State Law Enforcement Division official said.

Jimmy Causey, 35, a convicted kidnapper, and Johnny Brewer, 39, a convicted murderer, had been on the loose since Tuesday, when they escaped from the Broad River Correctional Institution in Columbia.

They were apprehended at a motel along busy Interstate 95 in Ridgeland, about 110 miles south of Columbia, SLED Chief Robert Stewart said.

Pat Smith, a maid at the Palms Motel, said Causey told the clerk when he checked in that his identification was in his car, and that the car had been towed.

“He was real friendly,” she said. “When they got (Brewer) in the cuffs, (Causey) said, ‘Can I get my money back?’ He said, ‘Can I get a refund?'” Smith hadn’t seen Brewer before his arrest, she said.

Stewart would not immediately release details of the capture but said the men were being transported back to Columbia.

Can you begrudge these guys a little joyride? Seriously, I’m a 100% rule of law kind of guy, but when it comes to a story like this, especially one in which no major violence occurred, I can’t help but think of these guys as characters in a Hollywood movie. Have you ever seen ‘Raising Arizona’? Remember the two brothers who were escaped convicts (played by John Goodman and William Forsythe)?

‘Nuff said.

And speaking of 100% rule of law…

Las Vegas Sun – Mayor: Sever Thumbs of Graffiti Artists

Las Vegas Mayor Oscar Goodman has suggested that those who deface freeways with graffiti should have their thumbs cut off on television.

Goodman, appearing Wednesday on the “Nevada Newsmakers” television show, said, “In the old days in France, they had beheading of people who commit heinous crimes.

“You know, we have a beautiful highway landscaping redevelopment in our downtown. We have desert tortoises and beautiful paintings of flora and fauna. These punks come along and deface it.

“I’m saying maybe you put them on TV and cut off a thumb,” the mayor added. “That may be the right thing to do.”

Goodman also suggested that whippings or canings should be brought back for children who get into trouble.

I think I just found my GOP candidate for the 2008 Presidential Election.

As great a communication tool as email is, it can also end up biting you. I’m forever amazed at how lackadaisical people can be with this technology. Without much of a thought, they’ll share their most intimate secrets, sensitive corporate data, personal information like credit card numbers or social security numbers. People forget that email lasts forever. It’s permanent, and can be forwarded on to and read by people who were never supposed to receive it. Given its ease of use and ubiquitousness, most people forget how dangerous email can be. Yet, day-after-day, we hear the stories about the email that got Jane fired, or the email that got Sam busted, or the email that led to the divorce of a husband from his wife.

And today, we have yet another story of email being used to communicate personal thoughts that weren’t intended to be public.

A Louisiana congressman says e-mails written by the government’s emergency response chief as Hurricane Katrina raged show a lack of concern for the unfolding tragedy and a failure in leadership.

Rep. Charlie Melancon, whose district south of New Orleans was devastated by the hurricane, posted a sampling of e-mails (PDF) written by Federal Emergency Management chief Michael Brown on his Web site on Wednesday.

The e-mails Melancon posted, a sampling of more than 1,000 provided to the House committee now assessing responses to Katrina by all levels of government, also show Brown making flippant remarks about his responsibilities.

“Can I quit now? Can I come home?” Brown wrote to Cindy Taylor, FEMA’s deputy director of public affairs, the morning of the hurricane.

A few days later, Brown wrote to an acquaintance, “I’m trapped now, please rescue me.”

In the midst of the overwhelming damage caused by the hurricane and enormous problems faced by FEMA, Mr. Brown found time to exchange e-mails about superfluous topics,” including “problems finding a dog-sitter,” Melancon said.

Melancon said that on August 26, just days before Katrina made landfall, Brown e-mailed his press secretary, Sharon Worthy, about his attire, asking: “Tie or not for tonight? Button-down blue shirt?”

A few days later, Worthy advised Brown: “Please roll up the sleeves of your shirt, all shirts. Even the president rolled his sleeves to just below the elbow. In this [crisis] and on TV you just need to look more hard-working.”

It gets worse.

On August 29, the day of the storm, Brown exchanged e-mails about his attire with Taylor, Melancon said. She told him, “You look fabulous,” and Brown replied, “I got it at Nordstroms. Are you proud of me?”

An hour later, Brown added: “If you’ll look at my lovely FEMA attire, you’ll really vomit. I am a fashion god,” according to the congressman.

Is that priceless or what?

Email has a way of revealing the real person inside the suit, and in this case, it confirms everything everyone suspected about Michael Brown. The man was simply the wrong person for such an important job. His email messages prove that.

Have you read your own email lately?

Related: USATODAY – Boeing scandal highlights e-mail checks | TechWeb – 1 in 5 companies have sacked employees over email abuse | WIRED – Daemon Seed: Old email never dies |