As if this touching episode wasn’t enough, now the Thompson family has put out a request for anyone who owns a cannon. No, I didn’t spell that wrong. We’re talking a real cannon, the type that shoots cannon balls (ala Pirates of the Caribbean). Since you obviously can’t head down the local Walmart to find such things, the family has solicited the media to not only find a cannon but help them find the perfect owner of a cannon. It’s so important apparently, that they have put out the following requirement: Anyone interested needs to submit a 100-word essay and mail it to the Aspen Daily News. They’ll forward the submissions to the Thompson family.

“The winner of the content will have to bring the cannon to Aspen at his or her own expense and possibly on short notice.”

Wonderful.

OK, once more with feeling…

FREAKS, WHACKED OUT FREAKS!