UPDATE: Yep, I was right. Gov. Mark Sanford admitted to having a marital affair. What an idiot.

Previously…

South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford resurfaced yesterday after mysteriously disappearing for seven days. His wife didn’t know where he was. His staff didn’t know, then did know, then didn’t know, then misled the press about it. What makes it even more strange is he missed Father’s Day.

I know one thing. If I just took off and didn’t tell my wife where I was going and it just happened to be Father’s Day weekend, all hell would break loose.

Yet, Sanfords staff and his wife spoke to the media about his disappearance with minimal emotion. Almost like a coordinated response. Weird.

Yesterday it was reported that Sanford went hiking along the Appalachian Trail. Well, at least that’s what the staff said. They lied. In fact, Sanford flew to Argentina, by himself, to “unwind”. And it appears that his staff new where he was all along, since someone called the governor to warn him that the media was on to his sudden absence and that he should get back to town before things really get out of control. Weird.

Instead of flying home to South Carolina, Sanford flew to Atlanta in hopes he could avoid the media throng who by this time were hiring their own people to search the globe for the governor. Much to Sanford’s dismay, he was found out. When confronted about his vanishing, he appeared dumbfounded that anyone would care. Weird.

Who do you think you’re fooling, Mark? You’ve either got a severe marriage problem or hidden substance abuse issues which involve blacking out and landing in foreign countries.

The point is, when you’re a public official, your every move is public. If you want privacy you should stay out of public service. If you are having marital problems you must face the fact that they will become public. If you don’t like that you should resign and then work on your issues in private. No politician should love the trappings of a public life and then demand privacy when life’s problems creep in. In this day and age, it’s impossible for the public to butt out. Your drive-by media will guarantee that.

So, we await a press conference from the governor today. We’ll either be told to mind our own business and this is much ado about nothing (more lies) or someone with a brain will tell the governor to come clean about whatever it is that’s messing up his family life. I’ll give you one guess as to which explanation we’ll hear.