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The Value of Duct Tape – Example #8,490

I’ve mentioned the TruGlo and the Fire Bible before. Now, make way for the Duct Tape Bible.

Ducttape_bible

Experience the latest rage – the complete Everyday Bible wrapped in durable duct tape! Take this Bible anywhere you want to go – camping, hiking, mission trips, school, even church youth group. Available in traditional silver duct tape as well as camouflage, the message of this Bible is even more durable than the package – it’s life-changing message that will last forever!

Heh.

Stupid Is…

It was just a matter of time before a video like this showed up on the net. I expect quite a few “dude, you’ll never believe what happened to me on July 4th” videos in the coming days.

                  

It’s Article 32 Time for Watada

Lt. Ehren Watada had his chance. Now it’s the Army’s turn.

A Fort Lewis Army officer who refused to serve in Iraq could face seven years in prison under charges filed Wednesday.

The Army accused 1st Lt. Ehren Watada of missing his brigade’s troop movement to Iraq, twice speaking contemptuously of the president and three acts unbecoming an officer. The alleged actions are violations of the Uniform Code of Military Justice.

The charges set the stage for an Article 32 hearing, where the Army appoints an investigating officer to review the evidence and holds a hearing that could last for days or weeks. At the hearing, Watada’s defense attorney will have the right to cross-examine prosecution witnesses, or call his own.

After the hearing, the investigating officer will make a recommendation of whether the charges merit a court-martial trial.

Here’s hoping the process is swift and Watada gets what’s coming to him.

Liberals Jipped by Ken Lay

Henry Allen of the Washington Post hocks a big ‘ol loogy on Ken Lay’s corpse.

Many people had looked forward to knowing more about Ken Lay, especially how he liked prison.

But now that he’s died of a heart attack in the luxury of his Colorado getaway while awaiting sentencing for his crimes, none of his victims will be able to contemplate that he’s locked away in a place that makes the Baltimore Harbor Tunnel look like Hawaii; that he might be spending long nights locked in a cell with a panting tattooed monster named Sumo, a man of strange and constant demands; and long days in the prison laundry or jute mill or license plate factory, gibbering with anguish as fire-eyed psychopaths stare at him for unblinking hours while they sharpen spoons into jailhouse stilettos.

He will not be ground into gray jailhouse paste by listening to the eardrum-scarring symphony of 131-decibel despair that is the Muzak of penitentiaries, by gagging on the dead prison air, by choking on the deader food, by watching the blue sky taunt him with freedom over the exercise yard, and by feeling his nervous system rent by the cruel grenades of memories — explosions of nostalgia for the days when he knew he’d be swanning forever through the comfy laps and cool lawns of luxury and infinite possibility. Sweet Gulfstreams through sweet skies, the pools, the jewels, the Maybach limousines, a life in which he didn’t just pimp his ride, he pimped the entire world as he knew it.

That’s just mean.

But can you really blame liberals like Henry Allen? They have no God, and without him, there is no final judgement. There is no eternal punishment. Lay’s untimely death is nothing more than an easy escape from consequence. In their mind, by dying, Lay got off scot free.

What’s amazing to me is, Allen’s sermon from the pulpit in the Church of Liberalism makes sense to millions of people. I can’t imagine what it must be like to live life with that world view.

Here’s Your Pink Slip. Now, Gimme that iPod.

Indian givers.

National Semiconductor giveth, and it taketh away.

The Santa Clara, Calif.-based company gained loads of publicity last month for announcing plans to give every employee a 30-gigabyte video iPod.

Last week, the company laid off 35 employees at its Arlington plant. To the surprise of some at the plant, the laid-off workers were asked to give back their high-tech toys.

A person who called the Star-Telegram claiming to have been one of the 35 laid-off workers said many employees at the Arlington plant were under the impression that the iPods were theirs to keep. Some had sold them or given them as gifts, according to the caller.

“Nothing was ever said about ever having to give it back,” the caller said. “If I’d known it was company property, I never would have picked it up.”

“They were not a gift,” company spokeswoman LuAnn Jenkins said Friday. Jenkins said she didn’t know whether the company ever intended for the workers to keep the iPods.

But…

As more than 100 workers enthusiastically received their iPods one morning last month at the Arlington plant, two company spokesmen would not directly answer questions from Star-Telegram reporter Aman Batheja as to whether workers would be able to keep the iPods once they left the company.

“We haven’t crossed that bridge,” said Scott Kahl, human resources director.

That was then, this is now. There ain’t no bridge to cross.

Evacuating

I’m taking the family out to the beach for the next three days. While they’ll be having the time of their lives, I’ll be hunting for WiFi…somewhere…anywhere. It’s not that the beach location is uncharted. It’s just in a section of a coastal town that hasn’t been wired for broadband yet.

There is, of course, a chance that I won’t find a hotspot. Every time I think of that I break out with a nasty case of hives, I become nauseous and throw up a little bit in my mouth. So you see, for the good of everyone involved, it’s vital that I find a high speed internet connection.

Have a great weekend.

UPDATE: I’m back. And no, I didn’t find WiFi…yet I survived! A bona fide miracle. More tomorrow.

Shot Dead Over Family Finances

Mary Winkler, the minister’s wife charged with murdering her husband on March 22, 2006, told police she shot him after they argued over family finances and then told him “I’m sorry” as he lay dying in their bedroom, according to testimony at a bond hearing Friday.

Court

In court Friday, Tennessee Bureau of Investigation Agent Brian Booth read a statement Mary Winkler gave authorities in Alabama, where she was arrested a day after her husband’s body was found by church members.

Booth testified that Winkler told police she knew her husband kept a 12-gauge pump-action shotgun in the closet of the home where they lived with their three daughters. She said she didn’t remember getting the gun.

“The next thing I remember was hearing a loud boom. I remember thinking it wasn’t as loud as I thought it would be,” Booth said, reading from Winkler’s statement.

She told police her husband rolled from the bed onto the floor after being shot.

“He asked me why, and I just said `I’m sorry,'” Booth read from the statement.

Winkler said the two had argued throughout the evening about several things, including family finances. The problems were “mostly my fault,” she said, because she was in charge of keeping the family books.

“He had really been on me lately criticizing me for things — the way I walk, I eat, everything. It was just building up to a point. I was tired of it. I guess I got to a point and snapped,” Booth read to the court.

She guesses? Granted, I wasn’t standing in the police station when she was giving this statement, but that last little bit about being criticized by her husband Matthew sounds a little emotionless to me. And I’m sorry, but I’m really having a hard time believing the whole “I don’t remember getting the gun” jazz. A rather lame defense.

Winkler, who entered a plea of ‘Not Guilty’ on June 21st, is hoping the judge in the case will set a reasonable bond. The prosecution is basically saying, ‘over our dead body’ (no pun intended -ed.) on the bond issue. Church members are due to testify next. Bottom line – no one expects Mary Winkler to get out of jail, either before or after her trial.

Previously: | Winkler: Opening Up | Winkler Attorneys Waive Fees | The Innocent Victims | Winkler Family Fund | Possible Winkler Defense? | Mary Winkler: “Overwhelmed and Confused” | Winkler Vs. the State of Tennessee | She Did It |