Whatchoo Talkin' 'Bout?

Headlines and Commentary for 08.27.05

Louisianans Told: Head for Higher Ground – Coastal residents jammed freeways and gas stations Saturday as they rushed to get out of the way of Hurricane Katrina, a vicious storm that is threatening to gain even more strength and make a direct hit on the New Orleans area.

And Bourbon Street will be packed with partiers, as usual, drinking liquid Hurricanes.

Tiny Crawford Braces for Dueling Protests – Several thousand people descended on President Bush’s adopted hometown Saturday, most in a cross-country caravan for a pro-Bush rally and others to support an anti-war demonstration led by grieving mother Cindy Sheehan. Bush supporters gathered for an event marking the culmination of the “You don’t speak for me, Cindy!” tour, which started last week in California. The crowd of about 1,500 chanted, “Cindy, go home!”

This isn’t about Casey Crawford anymore. This isn’t even about the war in Iraq. It’s chaos and it’s a waste of time.

Martha Stewart Confinement Set to End – Unless she gets into trouble with her probation officer again, Martha Stewart will gain her freedom this week from her “hideous” home confinement sentence and that bothersome, unstylish electronic anklet. After five months in prison for lying about a stock sale and five months of court-ordered restrictions at her Westchester County estate — plus three weeks tacked on for misbehaving — the queen of domestic marketing should be able to move around like any other convicted felon who’s done her time.

I’ve got to hand it to Martha. When she realized she would have to spend time in jail, she stopped her complaining, she didn’t try to continue her appeal, she just went in and did her time. Hopefully, she’s learned something and she’ll be an example, not play the victim.

Wax Head of Mozart Is Stolen From Museum – Thieves snatched the head of a life-size Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart wax figure from a Salzburg museum, police said Saturday. The figure of the composer was on display at “Next to Mozart,” a multimedia museum that opened last year. The wax head has an estimated value of $18,427, but museum employees told Austria Press Agency the work was truly unique — and appealed for its return.

A wax head for 18 grand? There’s something seriously wrong with that…

11-Year-Old Is Accused of Carjacking – An 11-year-old boy is accused of forcing a teenager and two young children out of a car and then driving the stolen vehicle to school the next morning. The boy, whose name was not released because of his age, was charged with aggravated robbery in juvenile court on Friday. A detention hearing was set for Monday. “This is very unusual,” said District Attorney Jerome Gorman, a prosecutor for 24 years.

11 freakin years old. When I was 11 years old the worse thing I ever did was throw rotten plumbs at a neighbors house. What’s happening to our kids?

And finally…

Along came a spider – A German woman was so shocked by a spider crawling across her face that she lost control of her car and crashed head on into a roadside tree, police in the western town of Rheine said on Thursday. The 23-year-old woman screamed and let go of the steering wheel, causing her small car to veer off the road into the tree.

At least that’s what she told her husband.