Bloggahz Be All Cool and Such!

As I was about to begin my lunch hour today, I thought about that scene in the Airplane! movies where the two guys are speaking jive. Even though I’ve seen that movie hundreds of times, I still belly laugh on that scene.

Ever wondered what bloggers would sound like if they posted in “jive”?

I have.

Take The Blogfaddah, Instapundit for example. Here’s a post he wrote on March 1st, regarding a camera he recently purchased:

D70 UPDATE: I’m happy with my Nikon D70, but as I mentioned a while back, it’s had one annoying glitch, an occasional refusal to fire until the exposure mode is changed. Following the advice of the Nikon tech support people (fast!) I reset the camera, but that didn’t help, so I’ve returned it for warranty service. I’ll let you know how that goes.

Meanwhile, despite my earlier drooling over the newer and (much) more expensive D2X, Ken Rockwell offers some persuasive reasons why the D70 is actually better for many purposes.

But, what if Glenn wrote the above post in jive? It might read something like this:

D70 UPDATE: I’s happy with mah’ Nikon D70, but as ah’ menshuned some while back, it be had one annoyin’ glitch, some occasional refusal t’fire until de ‘sposho’ nuff mode be changed. Followin’ de advice uh de Nikon tech suppo’t sucka’s (fast Right On!) ah’ reset da dang camera, but dat didn’t help, so’s I’ve returned it fo’ warranty service. What it is, Mama! I’ll let ya’ know how dat goes.

Meanwhile, despite mah’ earlia’ droolin’ ova’ de newa’ and (much) mo’e ‘spensive D2X, Ken Rockwell, mama offers some puh’suasive reasons why de D70 be actually betta’ fo’ many purposes.

Here’s Jeff Jarvis, with a recent post about Vlogging:

Vloggers take over the world

Here are amazing instructions on how to build your own teleprompter.

I’m installing the latest version of Serious Magic this weekend (I used the earlier version for my now more-than two-year-old primitive vlogs.)

And here’s Jeff, all jiveified and such:

Vloggers snatch ova’ de wo’ld

Here are amazin’ instrucshuns on how t’build yo’ own teleprompter. Ah be baaad…

I’s installin’ de latest version uh Serious Magic dis weekend (I used da dang earlia’ version fo’ mah’ now mo’e-dan two-year-old primitive vlogs.)

OK, one more. Over at Little Green Footballs, this was posted yesterday:

Kos Kidz Konference

Last September, Markos “Screw Them” Moulitsas Zuniga of the moonbat haven Daily Kos encouraged his followers to infiltrate the Republican National Convention and disrupt the proceedings.

There should be more of this. I know of several groups of people who have “infiltrated” the hall.

And memo to the Secret Service — I don’t have any names, so don’t bother trying to contact me.

Now, like a gift falling from the heavens, the Kidz plan their Yearly Kos Convention.

And the Jive rendition?

Kos Kidz Konference

Last September, Markos “Screw Dem” Moulitsas Zuniga uh de moonbat gots’n Daily Kos encouraged his followers t’infiltrate da dang Republican Nashunal Convenshun and disrupt da dang proceedings.

Dere should be mo’e uh dis. ah’ know uh several groups uh sucka’s who gots’ “infiltrated” de hall.

And memo t’de Secret Service — ah’ don’t gots’ any names, so’s don’t botha’ tryin’ t’contact me. What it is, Mama!

Now, likes some gift fallin’ fum de heavens, de Kidz plan deir Yearly Kos Convenshun. ‘S coo’, bro.

Wanna try it yourself? Be my guest and step into…

The Jive Compiler

Disclaimer: The Jive Compiler is something I think is funny. If you’re the type that doesn’t appreciate this kind of humor, please accept my apologies and don’t follow the link. No disrespect is intended.


  1. Beltway Traffic Jam

    The daily linkfest:

    Mark Kleiman knows a whole lot ’bout hallucinogens.
    PunditGuy Bill translates some popular bloggers into jive. [I got nothing. -ed.]
    Jen wonders why the U.S. makes such a big deal about St. Patrick’s Day.
    Jeff Goldstein rev…

Speak Your Mind